The missing tango embrace tip (something I didn’t hear for 10 years).
Podcast and transcription.
Discover the secret to a connected tango embrace that feels like home. In this episode, we dive into the power of breathing with your back and how it transforms both your lead and your partner’s experience on the dance floor.
Listen to the podcast here or in your favourite podcast app.
Hi, this is Dimitris Bronowski, the curious tanguero. My goal is to bring more people to tango and more tango to people. I hope you’ll find this episode useful and that you’ll share it with your friends.
Today we’ll discuss the tango embrace and a tip that I believe can help you create a wonderful embrace.
How I love breathing in sync with my partner…
And if it is during a Pugliese, heck yeah.
It feels incredible when you are with the right person.
But breathing is not just a connection tool as you may know.
It is also a leading tool.
And this is something most people know as well.
BUT…
There is a fine point that I didn’t hear about for over a decade of classes.
A fine point that made my embrace a true embrace, and allowed me to create a feeling that some followers described as ‘being home’, ‘being safe’, and ‘I want to be here’.
Before I explain, here is a bit of a backstory/technique reminder to make sure we are on the same page:
Advanced leading is 100% related to preparing yourself and your partner properly BEFORE you take a step.
This is why most teachers will tell you that before going to the left, you need to do a small movement of your upper body toward the right. Like a small semi circle.
Same thing when you want to go forward (backward for the follower). You go a bit back with your upper body and hips, and this circular movement prepares the follower for the step to come.
Good so far?
If you are not aware of this circular preparation, ask your teachers. It will be extremely helpful to your dance.
Now, I was aware of this, but this idea of taking my body a couple of centimetres backward didn’t sit well with me.
Sometimes I was feeling out of balance.
Sometimes I was feeling it takes time that I didn’t have in fast songs.
Sometimes it was confusing to inexperienced dancers who thought they should step toward the wrong direction.
Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes…
Often, I was taking a deep breath in to let them know that a movement is coming.
And if the movement was going to be big, I found out that taking a deeper breath helped.
But, when I wanted to step forward (backward for the follower) I was feeling my chest expanding forward during the deep breath.
As discussed above, this goes against the circular preparation, according to which I should move a bit backwards first.
I tried a few solutions:
The first was to overcompensate with my body’s movement.
I took my body further back to compensate for the expansion of the chest.
It worked OK, but it took more effort.
I was looking for an effortless dance.
The second solution was to direct the air to my belly instead of my chest.
I am thin, so I had the space to expand my belly, this way not influencing the chest.
This way I didn’t have to compensate with more backward movement of my body.
It worked, but it didn’t create the ‘breathing connection’ that I enjoyed with my partners.
Then, the solution came during one online class.
And it was brilliantly simple.
Let’s try it together, shall we?
Sit straight, put your hand on your chest and take a deep breath.
Feel the chest expanding.
Now, try to take another breath, BUT:
Don’t let your hand move forward.
Instead, bring the air to your back.
Feel your back expanding backwards.
If you do it correctly, you might even feel that your embrace becomes more circular.
You might notice that you are creating a bit of space in the middle of your chest.
You are managing to stay in contact, in place with your partner, while creating with your back the circularity to prepare her for the next step.
You create an embrace that offers space and also connection.
If you didn’t realise why this is extremely important, don’t worry, I didn’t either.
That is, until I received the following advice from Raluca Aldea, a tango teacher from Romania.
I asked her to describe her understanding of the embrace.
Here is what she told me:
‘The common understanding is that you need to offer your chest and your axis to your partner when you embrace.
But instead, as the name of it suggests, you need to create space between your arms for your partner’s body to fill in.
The arms need to open from the middle of the back like wings towards your partner, thus creating this beautiful, cosy void at your chest that now becomes concave.
It sounds like taking, not offering, but as contradictory as it sounds, creating and offering safe space between your arms, to receive your partner’s body at your chest it’s the best you can give to him/her; just like in real life.’
I will share a bit more of Aldea’s advice below, but let’s pause here and understand the above description.
When you breathe with your back, you notice that your arms do open from the middle of the back like wings towards your partner.
And you will notice that cosy void at your chest.
This is the place for your partner’s body to fill in.
This is home.
Please know that I am not bragging when I say the following:
Teachers’ have told me that they heard from their students about my embrace.
Followers have told me that my embrace feels like home.
The nickname that was given to me is ‘El peluche’, ‘the teddy bear’.
And it is not because of my fluffy belly.
After 796 workouts in 896 days at the time of this writing, I have a six pack and a body that can be considered hard and muscular.
I keep my body fat under 15% so not much ‘soft’ material there.
For years I thought that the reason I knew how to embrace was because my mother embraced me a lot when I was a child.
‘You can’t give love if you haven’t received love as a child,’ she always said.
But I didn’t know how I was creating this embrace.
‘Creating a cosy void at my chest,’ is the best description I ever heard of my embrace.
If you can do that, it can change the dancing experience of your partners.
Now, am I able to create that embrace with every partner I dance with?
Absolutely not.
Often this is because I do something wrong.
Other times it might be because there are partners that simply don’t know how to occupy that space.
Others that keep me -without realising- in distance with their close part of the embrace.
Some that have a significant height difference that does not allow for that space to be filled.
But, knowing where to focus on, allows me to take decisions for the trajectory of my dance development.
I learned with many teachers, but I try to only include in my dance the technique that allows me to improve that void.
Having said that, here is what else I learned from Raluca about the embrace:
‘This wonderful sensation of filling each other’s arms’ spaces with each other’s bodies needs to be completed by a clear and firm connection of the palms with the palm of my partner and with his/her body.
By “firm” I don’t mean using force, but instead using presence and using our refined sensations.
I recommend to my students to imagine that their palm becomes part of the partner’s flesh, and NOT that he/she pushes onto their partner’s hand or body.
By using this recommendation to avoid activating their arm muscles but to only connect their palms as if they were suction cups.
This way the connection is realised and the sensations in the embrace are: safe, relaxed, comfortable, stable, equilibrium, cosiness, efficiency, welcoming, circularity, etc.’
Curious about how to develop a more expressive dancing, better musicality, and a stronger personal style while avoiding repetition & boredom?
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If you enjoyed what you learned in this episode, don’t keep it to yourself. The best thing you can do is to share it with your friends. That’s what social media and messaging apps are for. You’ll be helping them and me.
The second best thing you can do is to visit thecurioustanguero.com/argentinetango There you’ll find a list of free and paid resources to help you improve and enjoy your tango. I am updating that webpage often with new stuff so make sure to re-visit it every once in a while. thecurioustanguero.com/argentinetango